LETTER HOME: THOUGHTS OF DESTINY ON A TRAIN BOUND FOR GOA
Dear Family and Friends,
Sometimes I feel like there is a hand grander than mine guiding this adventure.
Wait. That sounded cheesy. I take it back.
I don’t know if I feel comfortable sharing a declaration of fate or destiny. I worry that you might interpret my sentiments as arrogant or flakey. And don’t get me wrong, I know I can be arrogant and flakey, but I try to keep those characteristics cached. I suppose I avoid statements of predetermined fate because I am not particularly interested in branding myself as a person feels like he has some greater calling or deep wisdom or grand faith that life unfolds in a meaningful and intentional fashion. There is a lot of chaos and suffering and other supporting evidence that points to a world that might just be Godless and randomly meaningless.
The truth is that I simply don’t know about destiny or fate or situations that are “meant to be.” Yet sometimes the pieces fit together so perfectly that it’s hard not to wander down a path of imagining a greater plan. For instance, do you ever ponder the crazy shit you’ve done and wonder how in the world you’re still alive?
This week was like that. Not that I almost died or anything, but my transition from Jerusalem to Goa was a series of fortuitous events that left me slightly perplexed in my good fortune. I’ve seemed to squeak past borders and narrowly made it onto planes and trains with the stealth of panther (or perhaps luck of a leprechaun).
For example, when purchasing my ticket to India, I had a couple of options. I could fly from Tel Aviv, and it would cost me approximately 900 USD. Or I could travel overland to Jordan, and into the capital city of Amman, and fly to Mumbai for 367 USD. The choice was evident, but came with logistical complications. On the day of the flight, I would have to take a taxi to the Israeli/Jordanian border, go through both Israeli and Jordanian customs, switch currencies, and then find a ride to the airport some 40 kilometers away. And if I fucked anything up, I would most certainly miss my flight to India. No pressure, Baylis.
To complicate matters, the cheap ticket also meant leaving Israel on the sacred day of Yom Kippur, which is arguably the largest holiday of the Jewish calendar. The evening before my departure, I inquired at the Abraham Hostel travel center in Jerusalem about any concerns at the border crossing. The friendly dread-locked woman informed me that the border would only be open from 8h – 9h the following day. Again, this added to the complexity and precision of the day.
I made it successfully to the Amman airport, with many hours before my flight. So I napped and walked and read and wrote. And then with an hour to go before my departure at 20h15, I was roaming around, searching for a cup of tea, when I heard the announcement ring out, “This is a final boarding call for flight RJ189 to Mumbai. At this point all passengers should be on board.”
“WHAT?!?!”
I began to sprint to the gate, wondering how this was possible. I had been watching the time on my iPod. Didn’t I have another hour? But when I glanced at the local airport clock, as I ran down the corridor, it read 20h05. How could this be?
I made it on board, but barely. I’m certain that the closing of the airplane door may have shaved off the hair on my arse. Apparently there is a time change at the border that I hadn’t known about. How foolish would I have felt to have obtained a Jordanian tourist visa, navigated a highly rigid Middle Eastern boarder crossings and survived a couple of harrowing taxi rides, all on a tight schedule, only to have missed my flight while searching for a cup of Earl Grey in the airport?
When traveling internationally, there is just so much space for things to go amuck. How do I manage to make flights on time? How have I not been in a plane crash? How have I survived the careening taxis of Peru and Morocco and India?
This morning it happened again. I was wait-listed on a 6h55 train to Goa. I left the hostel an hour early, but had issues tracking down a taxi. After finally convincing a guy (who may or may not have been stoned) to drive me across the city to the Mumbai Central Train station, I amazingly arrived at 6h48. I ran from the taxi – imagine a train station scene from Slumdog Millionaire but with a lanky, bearded white guy – only to miraculously come across platform 15, and car 1A with a list of passengers on the outside. And my name on the list. I stepped aboard just as the train started moving.
My life is the Amazing Race. And this is where I start getting a bit suspicious.
It’s tough to tell the difference between simple luck and predetermined fate. What is the difference between fortuitousness and destiny? When does it go beyond good chance to concrete evidence that the world is working in my favor?
One of my favorite quotes is from the Paulo Coelho novel The Alchemist, and it reads: “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”
Sometimes I wonder if there is a greater reason for me doing this trip. And if so, what might it be? Am I supposed to learn something specific? And if I am to be learning something, what is my responsibility with this freshly acquired knowledge? Do I have good karma? Why is the world so benevolent to me? Am I evidence that the world conspires to help us attain our dreams?
Now I sit and write these words on a bumpy train. Outside the southern Indian landscape slowly rolls by, and as the hours pass I’ve sipped on 10 cent cups of delicious steaming chai and sat in the open door of the train carriage, watching the farmers in their fields. It easily ranks as one of my favorite settings this year, and there is a tangible sensation of a dream coming true – riding a train in India.
Yet despite the inspiring setting, I am not blessed with a sudden epiphany into grand purpose or understanding of fortuitousness. And so I pass this question on to you.
Is there such a thing as destiny or greater intention?
With love from India,
xoxo
Daniel
I would say India is the place that has provided the most synchronistically timed moments in my life. After all, how would anyone get anywhere knowing that they are leaving 1/2 an hour late if all the traffic didn’t just happen to clear when they need it? Or if the train didn’t run 2 hours late with them?
Daniel! This is an awesome piece. I greatly enjoyed reading it. Keep asking those questions, man. As to destiny…who knows? I feel like when I am connected to my own ground (metaphorically speaking) things just happen and I am somehow taken care of by the ground itself. But looking back at my lfe, it does seem to have a pattern that I could not see while living it. So strange.
On another note, you’re headed to Goa. Now just keep going south… to Kerala! It’s my family homeland and a gem of a place. The people are super friendly and intelligent (if not a little repressed – haha).
If you do go to Kerala, you might come across statues of Narayana Guru – he has become sort of an icon of the anti-caste movement. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg of his genius.
Anyway, travel safe and keep up the great writing!
Warm Regards,
Sunita
I almost missed my flight from Mumbai to Israel. Started to cry when I was told I’m late and can’t get on the plane. I was at lost, I had no money left (gave everything to a homeless dude because I knew I’m going home and won’t need it), my boyfriend was back in New Delhi, I was all alone and didn’t know what to do. Luckily the Indian lady at the counter saved me, she contacted the crew on the plane, a nice El-Al sky-marshal appeared, and escorted me into the plane.
If you haven’t read it by now, I recommend Coelho’s new book, “Aleph,” like The Alchemist, it’s also deals with destiny and self-discovery but on a personal level. A Perfect book to read while on a train, or in my case, while observing Yom Kippur at a small hotel in downtown San Diego.
Enjoy the Full Moon Party on Tuesday.
love love love reading your writings! thanks for helping me not get what i needed to get done just then! xo
Love this letter. I ‘ve had that feeling before as well and The Alchemist is such a great reflection on being in tune and open to where life’s journey takes us. But shit, maybe it’s all just happenstance … safe travels…
Daniel,
I’ve enjoyed reading your blogs. This one in particular caught my eye due to the word “train.” On the subject of destiny, how could one ever have concrete evidence that it exists? The only plausible evidence that I imagine could work is that of intangible evidence. Like the way a mother say understands the bond with her child. There’s not a literal bond excreting from the child to the mother, but there is a bond nonetheless. I do, however, believe that destiny can be revealed through meticulous choices that embrace one’s deepest longings and desires. I’d say your yearlong trip was an experience that enhanced you in a way that brought about real change in the way you perceive the world. Maybe all we can do is search, and after a certain point that moment of “fate” will be understood.