danielbaylis.ca

Dear friends and family,

It’s now been nearly two weeks since my arrival to Costa Rica. My location in the southern hills provides a gorgeous backdrop to this raw vegan cleanse of which I’ve embarked. It’s all very purgative, on many levels.

There is a certain pulse to my days here. Each morning, shortly before 6 AM, I wake up with the sun rising and birds chirping, and stumble out of my tent sporting some grubby clothes for the day’s work activities. It’s an uphill climb (literally and metaphorically) to the Rancho where each day begins with a “green” smoothie, topped with almonds and fresh fruit, such as mango, grapefruit, papaya or berries. You can rest assured that I’m eating healthy, and getting some exercise. Each morning, during my walk, I make sure to take a minute to pause and look over the lush valley that is my temporary home.

It’s important to remind myself that, despite any challenges or apprehensions, I’m in a natural paradise.

After breakfast, the day begins with various tasks that include watering the gardens, tending to the humanure toilet, building nurture nests for trees, constructing a hot tub and prepping food for meals. The raw vegan diet is providing quite the detox, and paired with the fatiguing tropical heat, I find myself often drained of energy by lunchtime. In the afternoons I try to diminish my tempo: I read a book, take a nap, walk slowly to one of the many stunning waterfalls on the homestead. It enables me to recharge and appreciate the setting.

In my leisure time, I also listen to podcasts. My favorite show to plug into is Tapestry, a weekly CBC radio programme exploring the ideas of spirituality, religion and what it means to be a human on this planet.  On Thursday I listened to an archived episode where host, Mary Hynes, chatted with Franciscan Priest Richard Rohr. Known as one of the world’s great religious thinkers, Rohr is a published author who travels the world, teaching and living the lessons of the 13th century friar, St. Francis. I was extremely suspicious of these credentials, as many things “Christian” leave me wincing with impressions of bible thumping, Jesus freaks and general lifestyle chastising.  (Side note: This is a personal bias that I’m still deconstructing. Give me time.)

But within minutes of the episode, I was seduced by Rohr’s calm manner of speaking, and how he covered many topics with grace, humor and inclusion of diversity (gender, age, sexuality, etc). He advocated for the exploration of “shadow work” – understanding and processing that which we consciously or subconsciously keep hidden. Or perhaps easier described as “understanding our shame.” Rohr also stated the need for more individual contemplation, of which he defined as non-dualistic thinking.

I really appreciated how he continued to described contemplative engagement:

“[It’s] looking at the moment in an undivided way. You don’t eliminate the mysterious, the problematic, the difficult, that which you don’t yet understand. The contemplative holds it. He doesn’t, she doesn’t, divide the field of the moment. She lets it be. It is what it is, what it is, what it is, what it is…”

I think the idea of contemplative or non-dualistic thinking is resonating more loudly at this moment because I’m in a situation, here on a raw vegan farm, where I’m challenging my notions of how an individual should live. I am contemplating what is best for Daniel Baylis, and this includes how I engage in thinking patterns, how to design my life, what identities I select for myself and what sort of foods will I choose to fuel my body.

In bumping up against a strict dietary paradigm (raw veganism), I am encouraged to explore my own personal worldviews, and the identities or paradigms that I chose for myself. I’ve noticed that, in general, we have a tendency to divide ourselves into little constructed identities: I’m a goth. I am a strict Buddhist.  I align with such-and-such political party. I am a vegan. I am gay. I’m a Black Panther. I’m an American. I am a <insert sports team> fan. In many ways, these labels exist to communicate alliance with a particular idea, lifestyle, belief or group. They say, “This is who I am.”

However, when I insist on identifying in a certain way, I run the risk of automatically negating other possibilities of existing. I chance a realm of separation, dividing the world into the dualities that Rohr talks about: us versus them, me versus you. And in choosing sides, there’s a danger that I block myself from understanding how other people live, think, act and exist.

Yet, from what I understand, all these identities and lifestyle choices simply serve to eliminate the complexities of life. And I recognize that, for the sake of simplicity, one might choose to place oneself in “boxes.” They provide rooting systems in a chaotic world. Moral, political and social structures help make sense of an often senseless world. But how well are they actually serving us? Is it possible to assume one identity without negating another? Does “dividing the field” actually promote my personal development? Does it aid movement to greater union among humans?

I’m unconvinced.

I think that, as Rohr mentions, it’s the mysterious, the problematic, the difficult that provide the greatest opportunity for contemplation, for expansion and understanding. And if I can steer my compass, this is the direction in which I’d like to be going – a one-way ticket to the mysterious, please.

And as my travels progress, should I decide to risk another label, something that might help communicate who “Daniel Baylis” is to the individuals that I meet along the road, I think I just might start identifying as a “contemplative.”

And if that says little about me, that’s okay. Keep reading. You’ll figure me out.

Heck, eventually I might figure me out.

xoxo

Daniel

Related posts: