MY SCOOTER WRITES A LETTER TO A PARKING TICKET OFFICER
Last year I bought a scooter from a friend. It served me well, enabling me to quickly zip around the city from home to work to events. I was a warrior with 50 cc’s of fury between my legs.
After Rhonda, as I like to call her, was stolen (and thankfully recovered in the park near my apartment), it became a policy to ensure she was always locked to a lamppost or street sign or boulder or something. She sat contentedly outside my apartment during those summer nights on the sidewalk, attached to a lamp.
Since releasing Rhonda from hibernation this year, the parking authorities have slapped me with 4 tickets for illegally parking.
My response has been to appeal to their reason and compassion. This is what it looked like.
Dear Parking Ticket Officer,
It seems that we have come to a misunderstanding. I notice that you have an affinity for penalizing me for my choice of resting place.
I must admit to a certain amount of confusion. You see, last summer I was stolen and now my master insists on locking me to lampposts. I was parked here for six months, and I never received a ticket. It was a beautiful summer.
But these days, things have changed. I now receive more parking tickets than publi-sacs.
Yet, I sit here harmlessly, taking up as much space as a bicycle.
Who am I harming? Where is the justice?
Please find compassion in your heart for a beat up old scooter, who wishes nothing more than to live in harmony with all parking ticket officers.
Signed,
Rhonda
A gentle, but sad scooter
hahaha!!!! Good job
Did they take the letter?
I had two scooters stolen in 2 years, so I commend you on your efforts to remain on the good side of our “friendly” neighborhood officers while doing your very best to ward off the bad guys. It’s a fine balance, good luck!
They saw the letter, and then left me another ticket.
It was a big ol’ bitch slap across the face.